Tag Archives: Fiver

The Fiver | They would do anything (furlough) but they won’t do that | Football


KEEPING 220 YARDS APART There was celebration today after Liverpool decided to furlough the idea of furloughing their employees, giving in to an outcry from fans, former players and over-opinionated media types with too many column inches to fill now there’s no sport on. There has been no word yet …

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The Fiver | Sean Dyche spreadeagled on a chaise longue in his red silk kimono | Football

Ivan Jovanovic: being told to Do One despite playing none

SEAN’S WORLD Considering the Fiver’s pre-conceived notion that Sean Dyche would be spending the current lockdown spreadeagled on a chaise longue in his red silk kimono drinking endless martinis while watching reruns of The Sweeney on ITV4, we were pleased to see he’s putting his spare time to more productive …

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The Fiver | The Premier League, pay cuts and the plight of wild mushrooms | Football

Angus MacDonald is ready for action when football un-stops.

HOT SHIITAKE There was consternation among Premier League clubs on Wednesday after they were accused by a major public figure of completely running out of wild mushrooms. Furious MP Julian Knight, chief suit of the House of Commons digital, culture, media and sport committee, lambasted the nation’s top 20 teams …

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The Fiver | A society based on patience and willingness to tolerate each other | Football

Oh, er, hello?

THE MORE THINGS CHANGE … When all this is over, we will have learned to practise kindness and become more generous towards our fellow man. The flatmate you’ve spent the last 12 weeks in isolation with who leaves the oven on overnight and never flushes? He’s only doing his best. …

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The Fiver | An idea so harebrained and stupid that it may be given the thumbs up | Football

A good egg, earlier.

A MEANS TO AN END? With the usual big fat clanging caveat that none of it really matters, except to a worrying number of football fans to whom it appears to matter a very great deal indeed, debate over whether or not the current Premier League season should be played …

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The Fiver | We ran and we ran, and now we’ve found ourselves back in 1978 | Football

Still a class act, is Jürgen.

HOT TIN TIME MACHINE The Fiver woke up late to discover there’s a reasonable chance Dominic Raab will be in temporary control of the country soon. We thought about that for a moment. Then we thought about necking the rest of that Mogadon and Dettol cocktail we’d fixed for ourselves …

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The Fiver | Leeds United: not so nasty now | Football

Carlo Ancelotti

LEEDING THE WAY Say what you like about coronavirus, but it brings out the best in people. Take Nasty Leeds, for example. If the Fiver’s got this right, they earned their reputation back in the 1960s and 1970s, when they were better at kicking everyone during an era when everyone …

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The Fiver | Ashley Young, the world leader we never knew we needed | Football

‘I get so emotional baby!’

FOOTBALL PEOPLE The Fiver largely exists in order to cock a snook. To take the proverbial. To offer the dreaded “sideways look”. But maybe all these trips between bed, toilet and fridge are mellowing us because this afternoon it’s a little tricky to do our thing. Maybe that’s because Football …

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The Fiver | Let’s just pretend it’s 1996 | Football


A BETTER PLACE The grand ballroom of the Landmark hotel is a “beautiful and elegant” space, according to its website, providing “an extensive area catering for up to a maximum of 750 guests for a cocktail reception”. But there were no cocktails in the grand ballroom on the afternoon of …

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